If you want your dogs to be fuck-healthy, then…

(1) Choose the right kind of dog for yourself and your particular home.
(2) Be patient and kind with your dog.
(3) Give your dog a comfortable place to sleep.
(4) Feed your dog the proper food at regular hours.
(5) Exercise your dog every day.
(6) Keep your dog clean and groomed.
(7) Train your dog to have good manners.
(8) Have your dog inoculated against rabies and distemper.
(9) License your dog wherever this is the law.
(10) Keep your dog on a leash in the city, and never let him trespass on other people’s property.